


Whoops

by Willowanderer



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Death, Gen, Poisoning, descriptions of poisoning, this is not an attempt to make Sazed sympathetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 09:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20468525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowanderer/pseuds/Willowanderer
Summary: It was all a mistake.





	Whoops

He’d never intended to kill anyone. 

In his mind, this was how it was going to go down: Taako would taste the chicken, get sick and he’d come on stage with a cure poison potion and save the day, and Taako would see how good, how  _ useful  _ he was. 

Sazed was a loser, he was an idiot, he wasn’t good at anything, no one loved him, and he knew it, but he’d never really intended to kill anyone. He had the potion right there. He had a reasonable excuse of accidental contamination in storage, which would have been a good lesson for the show- always make sure your surfaces and cookware are clean. 

He’d totally expected to get chewed out later for the ‘mistake’ Taako had a mouth on him when he wasn’t being charming for the audience. It was kind of endearing. He could admit it, he was more than half in love with the elf. How could he not be? 

So yeah, Mr. ‘Crazy about Food Waste’ Taako would probably transmute the poisoned food to something bland, and he’d eat it. Because Taako ‘okay, so that recipe was not a crowd pleaser so we’re going to eat it all the way to the next town because we’re not throwing it out’ Tacco would not be happy with the news the entire show sized batch of thirty garlic chicken was a waste. 

But nobody was supposed to die! Not Taako and certainly not the audience. The slow cooking should have weakened the poison anyway. It shouldn’t have happened like that! He’d planned it out too carefully!

He’d improved! He’d learned something! A real skill, not just lugging things and handling animals. He was getting pretty damn good at prep work, at chopping and cleaning and portioning. He could dice, and mince and peel really well. He’d even gotten okay at plating, even though he didn’t really understand it. It was more skill than anyone had ever bothered to teach him before. He just needed Taako to understand that he was ready for more! That together, they could be even better than on their own. 

He just wanted Taako to see him. 

He didn’t want to see this.

He had  _ one  _ cure poison potion, he could save  _ one  _ person. 

One person, there were more than two dozen, choking, puking victims. 

Sazed wasn’t proud, he tossed the bottle into the caravan and pulled Taako away. He was horrified. They had to go. It would look bad, but Sazed couldn’t explain what really happened, and clearly Taako couldn’t either. The elf was in shock, uncomprehending of anything. In a way his stupid plan had worked. Taako needed him now. He only spoke in fragments as they rode away in the caravan.The elf mouthed words to himself gesturing in little circles. Occasionally a half formed spark of magic would dance across his fingers. Trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. When it got too dark to drive, Sazed led the horses until it was too dark for  _ him  _ to see, even with the little lantern kept under the driver’s seat. Only then did he pull off the road, tend the horses, and queasily consider a meal of dried meat and fruit. Taako was still mumbling to himself when Sazed fell asleep, too exhausted to stay awake any longer. 

The next morning, he did it again, forcing himself to eat some dried food and water, while Taako had progressed to banging his head slowly on the wall. Midway through the day, an anguished cry went up.

“The garnish. The berries, that’s… it has to be, that’s the only explanation, I... oh Gods. Sazed, what have I done? I killed them.” the elf burst into tears, and cried himself into retching exhaustion, Sazed had to pull over so Taako could be sick, and then was used as a prop or a pillow as he kept crying until he passed out, shadows visible even though his elven beauty. After a while, Sazed fell asleep as well, in a position he would have given anything for two days ago. 

And Sazed woke up, seeing the faces of the dying and in a cold sweat.

_ Taako would figure it out. _

Of course he would, he wasn’t stupid, whatever jokes he made, or problems he had with math. He was a  _ genius  _ when it came to magic, and even an idiot like Sazed knew you couldn’t transmute something by accident. Once he came out of shock, he’d figure it out and Sazed’s ass would be grass. Best case scenario, he’d haul him back to Glamor Springs and turn him in himself. He’d hang. He’d be torn apart by angry family members. He’d go to prison, and his life would be hell. 

Extracting himself, Sazed gathered his clothes, what little money he’d saved, and half the food in the wagon, as well as a halter and one of the horses. He hesitated, but took his cooking knives. Taako had won them in a cook off in one of the larger towns they’d done the show in, showing up the local fine dining chef. After looking them over, he’d given them to Sazed, saying his were already better, and tools made the sous chef. It was the nicest thing anyone had done for him. It gave him hope. Taako had given him hope. And he’d given him poison to serve to the audience. 

Running away was easier the second time. 

**Author's Note:**

> You ever get one of those rouge thoughts that runs away from you, and the next thing you know you're writing a POV for a character you really couldn't care about?  
Yeah.
> 
> look for me on Tumblr @thebestworstidea


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